It was great to see you at my Party this weekend Phillip. I had loads of fun smashing up that mansion. It was like the Bullingdon days! I had a cracking headache this morning though and picked the worst day to go to work with a hangover. David told me a few weeks ago that one of the main things I had to do was stop some people in the government spending money, so today I had to publish my ideas.
It wasn’t difficult really, I just thought about all the things I hate or departments I don’t understand and got rid of them:
- Kids. I hate the snotty nose little blighters, so I cut their trust funds. Easy one that.
- Quangos. I don’t even know what they are, so I got rid of some of them.
- Transport. I don’t use the train or the tube, and that crossrail malarky – well – i’d ditch that yesterday if I could but after that silly man with the white hair came to see me, I thought i’d best be careful. Still cut some of their budget though. Ha!
- Internet computers. Daveo keeps walking around with that stupid blackberry, which I hate, so to spite him I decided to cut some of the money I give to internet computers. This backfired a little bit however as I realised I’d cancelled my subscription to call of duty on xbox.
Big boss man said i’d probably have to cut more money next month, so I had a chat to a man in the know Dan. He said I should stop spending money on healthcare for poor people. He said it was all self inflicted anyway by smoking and eating too many pies. I do agree but Daveo likes poor people these days so he probably won’t like it.
I’m off to bed to sleep off my headache now.
