This is my Boss, David. We were in the same club together at school, although we didn’t talk to each other cos he trashed my room one night and graffitised my wall with nasty things about my Willy. He’s one of these ‘working class wannabees’ and always tries to act like a pauper, even though he owns 16 horses, 3 mansions and a Sony Playstation 4 – special edition. He likes raspberry jam on toast and bicycles – and often comes to work with both his bike and jam in the corner of his lips, which Clegger, my secretary, finds very funny, but which I feel shows he has no personal dignity.
Daveo (as we call him) has 3 bikes and is always going on about them. He used to own a Scott which he says was his best friend (the mentalist), but I paid old Hoggy to knick it from outside a supermarket. He got really upset about it so Hoggy and I dumped it and sent a secret letter to a newspaper so he’d get it back and stop blubbering. Ironically, someone really did swipe it a few months later. I think it was old Gord, who was annoyed that Daveo was getting more attention than him.
I like Daveo though – he’s a good boss really. I just wish he’d have a shower after riding that damned bike.